An Interview with Cassandra..........

 

GNN Greek News Network

News offices in Athens......Sparta.....Cyprus......Thrace.....Alexandria...and Carthage {sometimes}


Cassandra Ponders the Future

Dateline:

Prometheus Academy

Reporting:

Barbara Walteropoulos

 

Interview transcript:

B. First of all, I want to thank you, Cassandra, for granting me this rare interview in the Cafeterium of the prestigious Prometheus Academy.........

C. It was either this or watching some grapes ferment. You won by a nose. Don't get your hopes up. So..... what do you want to know??

B. Well I thought that might be Your line of work.... what with your special abilities......

C. Oh... that!! It just hits me now and then.....sort of like the cheap perfume you're wearing. I get the bad news and it's over. NEXT QUESTION.

B. Well...uh...I really thought......ok.... describe your life at the prestigious Prometheus Academy.

C. Unmitigated tedium interuppted by waves of anxiety overlaid with feelings of bitterness and seasoned with dollops of bottomless pitch black despair. Then we have lunch and I go into a decline.

B. Oh it can't be all bad- what about friendships?

C. I have a choice of lazy Royals, braindead dress mannequins, inflated jock heads, geeks who've been discarded by other geeks and psychotic blood warriors.The decisions make themselves.

B. I thought you'd carved out yourself a nice little niche with the noble Hercules and his trusty pal Icarus.

C. Less a niche than a bottomless crevice from which to stare out of.

B. Oh c'omon Cassandra!!! .......I understand you' ve been pals with Herc from Day One.

C. Yes....well.... he actually was pleased to meet me.... I did'nt believe him at the time.....but it was nice of him to say so.

B. So... what's it like being platonic galpal to the world's most famous teen???

C. Ok......OK ....you got me. Herc's cool- well, most of the time. When the masonry is'nt flying or when he's not thinking too hard. Bad things tend to happen when Herc gets ideas.

B. You've been through a lot together.

C. Yes. Mostly just by standing in his immediate vicinity. You'd think I'd know better by now. But he always does comes through in a pinch. Mark my words- he will make the hero cut someday. That's no vision. Just the Gospel truth, as the Muses are always putting it.......

B. OK.... Cards on the table- Everyone wants to know.

C. About what??

B. Icarus.

C. What about him?

B. What's the"scoop???"

C. I thought everybody knew by now. He flew into the sun on wax wings and fried.....no....."sauteed".. his brains. Although between you, me and the torchpost he was a few figs short of a cornucopia way before then. Insanity runs in that family. No......I should say it gallops.

B. So that's just not an act??? So he's really like that all the time??

C. .......to paraphrase your future ...{what's his name..Something Shakespeare?}................ "Some people are born crazy...........others achieve craziness....and some have craziness thrust upon them"...... Yeah.... I'd say he's got all the bases covered.

B. Hmmmm......... I don't know......I interviewed him earlier- I'd characterize him merely .....as thinking.... "Outside the Box".

C. Yes.......... Pandora's....

B. He's very cute.........

C..............in a buglike, ferrety kind of way......maybe........

B. Well, if there's no attraction and he gets on your nerves so much why are you always around each other??

C. For the same reason I can't get rid of this mole here- it just appeared one day and now I'm stuck with it.

B. Well, I don't think you're being *completely* candid with me- however....we'll let it go at that. But you know........watching your show I just can't help getting the feeling that you two belong together!

C. Oh yeah........we do.... like swamps and malaria.

B. Let's talk about the other students. Give me some insight on your fellow Academicians.

C. Like???

B. Helen.

C. A terrifying peabrain.

B. Ajax.

C. He does'nt graduate until we hear him talk.

B. Adonis.

C. The Prince of Feebs.

B. Tempest.

C. Hmmm...she's Amazon.......buff.... competitive....surly.... homicidal ....the perfect cheerleader........

B. Oh dear this isn't going at all well....in fact ...I'm starting to get a little depressed myself. Is'nt there anything or anyone at school that really makes you happy??Tell me- what are your plans after graduation?

C. Going home and taking lots of aspirin.

B. Cassandra!!!!

C. Ok ok- you mean for like the rest of my life kind of thing......I'm looking into colleges.........probably Cumae or Delphi...I want to get into futures......that seems the safest bet for me.

B. Yes...I wanted to ask you more about your special gifts .....in fact - let's discuss...Cassandra?? Cass...andra??Are you OK, Hon???

C. I see a terrible ..scene..crying .......people screaming...throwing themselves on the ground...unconscious and writhing......flames..burning ..ripping clothing.......smoke...noise...mindless violence.....breaking things......oh wait...it's a .... Korn concert .....It's OK.

B. Oh Thank goodness. I was just about to say that's .......scary.....anything else??

C. I see a terrible rash of food poisoning at Pro Acs Cafeterium.....involving excruciating stomach cramps,violent bouts of vomiting and bloody diarheaa.Whatever you do....don't eat those olives.....

B. ........."THESE" olives?!!!!?"???

C. Yes. The furry ones.

B. Uh....Those were "OLIVES?!!??"..........oh Dear Sweet God......

C. Ooops..... Sorry.

B. Ladies and Gentlemen ... {gag}...We're going to....... terminate this interview momentarily and...... continue ...{gulp} at some future point.......

C. Heh, heh..........that's what You think......

End Transcript

 

Cassandra imagery copyright Walt Disney Co....art by Sara Rase- inking by Tracey Pierce

Text contributed by Magpie69


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